To talk about ourselves is actually to forget about ourselves. http://amzn.to/2iZOLK7
Book: Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind
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When we talk about ourselves, we forget ourselves
Shunryu Suzuki writes a paradox in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. To talk about ourselves is actually to forget about ourselves. When we describe who we are, we create a story, a set of labels and opinions. That story is not the living self. Instead, it is an image, and focusing on it can distract us from direct experience.
Social media amplifies this effect. Profiles, bios and curated posts encourage constant self-presentation. As a result, people spend energy managing an image rather than living fully. The more we polish the story, the further we may drift from actual experience.
Learning to forget ourselves in a healthy way
Forgetting ourselves here does not mean neglecting our needs. It means letting go of excessive self-focus. For example, in a conversation, we can stop planning how we appear and simply listen. Therefore, the exchange becomes more genuine and enjoyable.
Flow experiences show the benefits. When absorbed in an activity, self-consciousness disappears. Moreover, people describe these moments as among the happiest of their lives. Forgetting the self, temporarily, brings freedom.
Service also helps. Helping others shifts attention outward. Consequently, many people find that volunteering reduces anxiety and increases meaning.
Self-reflection still has value, of course. The key is balance between understanding ourselves and being lost in our stories.
In short, less self-talk can mean more life. Therefore, try one activity this week where you forget how you look. For instance, dance, paint or play a sport just for fun. As a result, you may feel more present and more yourself.
Moreover, curiosity about others is a simple way to step out of self-focus. Asking genuine questions shifts attention outward and usually makes conversations richer for everyone involved.
