Study ourselves

Why we cannot study ourselves alone

Shunryu Suzuki writes in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind that we need a teacher because it is impossible to study ourselves by ourselves. Self-reflection is valuable, of course. However, it has limits. We see through our own lenses, with blind spots we cannot notice. A teacher offers an outside view.

Psychology supports this. The Johari window model describes parts of ourselves known to others but unknown to us. Feedback reveals these blind spots. Moreover, research on self-assessment shows that people often misjudge their own abilities, sometimes overestimating and sometimes underestimating.

Ways to study ourselves with help

Mentors are the classic solution. A good mentor notices patterns, asks challenging questions and shares experience. Therefore, finding one can accelerate growth in work or personal life. For example, a senior colleague might point out habits that limit your influence in meetings.

Peers also help. Trusted friends or colleagues can give honest feedback when invited. Consequently, regular feedback conversations become a powerful learning tool, especially when they are specific and kind.

Coaches and therapists offer structured support. They help people explore beliefs and behaviours safely. Meanwhile, books and courses provide external perspectives, although they cannot respond personally.

Humility is essential. Accepting feedback requires openness, even when it stings.

In short, growth is a team effort. Therefore, ask one person this month for honest feedback on a specific skill. For instance, ask how you come across in presentations. As a result, you will see yourself more clearly than any mirror allows.

Finally, remember to return the favour. Offering thoughtful feedback to others helps them grow, and it sharpens your own ability to observe. In this way, learning becomes a shared practice inside teams, families and friendships.

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