Meet people where they are. Instead of expecting them to be somewhere else and getting angry and trying to will them to that place, you try to meet them where they are and lead them where you want them to go. http://amzn.to/2hHeNww
Book: Eleven Rings
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Leadership means you meet people where they are
Phil Jackson shares a core leadership idea in Eleven Rings. Meet people where they are. Instead of expecting them to be somewhere else and getting angry, you try to meet them where they are and lead them where you want them to go. The advice sounds simple. In practice, it requires patience and empathy.
Jackson coached very different personalities. Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant each needed a different approach. Rather than forcing one style on everyone, Jackson adapted. He found what motivated each player and connected it to the team’s goals.
How to meet people where they are
The first step is understanding. Ask questions, listen carefully and observe. What does this person value? What worries them? For example, a team member who resists a new process may fear losing competence, not opposing change itself.
Next, start from their current position. Acknowledge their perspective before proposing a new direction. Therefore, people feel respected rather than judged, and they become more open to moving forward with you.
Teachers know this principle well. Effective teaching builds on what students already know. Lev Vygotsky described the zone of proximal development, the space where learners can progress with support. Moreover, pushing too far beyond it usually causes frustration.
Patience is part of the method. Leading people step by step takes longer than giving orders. However, the results usually last longer.
This approach works in families and friendships too. Meeting loved ones with understanding strengthens trust and reduces conflict.
In the end, Jackson’s lesson is about respect. People follow leaders who understand them. Start where they are, and the journey forward becomes shared.
In short, empathy comes before direction. Therefore, ask before you tell. For instance, a quick question about someone’s concerns can change the whole conversation. As a result, people feel heard, and they follow more willingly.
