Just to watch them, without trying to control them. http://amzn.to/2hHeNww
Book: Eleven Rings
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Learning to watch without control
In Eleven Rings, Phil Jackson describes a meditation instruction about thoughts. Just watch them, without trying to control them. Many beginners believe meditation means stopping thoughts. In reality, it often means observing them calmly, letting them come and go like clouds passing across the sky.
This approach changes our relationship with the mind. Instead of fighting every worry or distraction, we notice it. That noticing creates distance. Psychologists call this cognitive defusion, a key technique in acceptance and commitment therapy. Thoughts become events in the mind, not commands we must obey.
Why we should watch without control more often
Trying to control thoughts often backfires. Daniel Wegner’s famous white bear experiment showed that people told not to think of a white bear thought about it more. Suppression strengthens what we resist. Therefore, gentle observation usually works better than force.
Jackson applied a similar attitude to coaching. He often allowed games to unfold without constant intervention. Instead of calling timeouts at every problem, he trusted players to find solutions. As a result, teams developed independence and resilience during difficult moments.
The same lesson applies to leadership and parenting. Over-control can stifle growth. Watching, guiding lightly and intervening only when necessary allows others to learn. For example, letting a new employee solve a problem first, then offering feedback, builds confidence.
Of course, some situations require action. The point is to choose intervention wisely, not automatically.
Observation also brings insight. When we watch without reacting, patterns become visible, both in our minds and in our teams.
In the end, Jackson’s instruction offers freedom. We do not need to control everything. Watching with calm attention is often the wiser first step.
In short, observation is an active skill. Therefore, practise it daily. For example, spend two minutes watching your thoughts before work. As a result, you will react less and choose more.
