I live with contradictions, in accordance with the human condition, but do my best not to forget what absurdities are involved. http://amzn.to/2iuS4FV
Book: Who owns the future
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Living with contradictions, honestly
Jaron Lanier admits something refreshing in Who Owns the Future? He lives with contradictions, in accordance with the human condition, but does his best not to forget what absurdities are involved. He is a technologist who criticises technology, and he uses tools he questions. Instead of hiding this tension, he names it openly.
Most people carry similar contradictions. We care about the environment and still fly on holiday. Similarly, privacy matters to us, yet we share photos online. And although we want deep focus, our phones still get checked constantly. These gaps between values and behaviour are part of being human, not proof of hypocrisy.
Making peace with living with contradictions
The risk lies in two extremes. One is denial, pretending the contradiction does not exist. The other is paralysis, feeling so guilty that we stop acting at all. Lanier suggests a middle path: awareness. Keep the absurdity in view, and let it guide gradual improvement.
Psychologists describe the discomfort of conflicting beliefs as cognitive dissonance. Leon Festinger showed that people often reduce it by changing their beliefs rather than their behaviour. Therefore, staying aware of the tension, without rushing to justify it, keeps the door open to real change over time.
Practically, choose one contradiction that matters most to you and work on it. For example, if you care about attention, start by removing one distracting app from your phone. Small steps reduce the gap without demanding perfection, and they build confidence for the next step.
Humour helps too. Laughing gently at our own inconsistencies makes them easier to discuss. Moreover, it creates space for honest conversations with others who share similar struggles, which often leads to useful ideas and mutual support.
It is also worth showing compassion to others. Everyone lives with tensions we cannot fully see from outside. Judging them harshly rarely helps them change.
In the end, accepting contradictions is a sign of maturity, not weakness. The goal is not a perfectly consistent life. Instead, it is an honest one, where we notice the gaps and keep moving in the right direction.
