He never really knew himself, so he never really knew what to want. http://amzn.to/2hHfNk1
TV-Serie: True Detective
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To know and want: self-knowledge comes first

True Detective contains a sharp observation. He never really knew himself, so he never really knew what to want. The sentence links two things we often treat separately. Desire depends on self-knowledge. Without understanding who we are, our wants become borrowed, confused or contradictory.
Many people chase goals that do not truly belong to them. A prestigious job, an expensive house or a certain lifestyle may look attractive. Yet reaching them sometimes brings emptiness. The problem is not ambition itself. Instead, the goals were chosen without asking what really matters.
Ways to know and want more clearly
Self-knowledge grows through reflection and experience. Journaling, honest conversations and quiet time all help. For example, noting which activities leave you energised and which drain you reveals patterns that point to genuine preferences.
Trying new things also matters. We often discover what we want by experimenting. A short course, a volunteer project or a trip can reveal interests that were hidden. Therefore, exploration is part of self-discovery.
Feedback from others adds perspective. Friends and colleagues sometimes see strengths and values more clearly than we do. Moreover, asking them can open useful conversations about direction and purpose.
Values provide a stable anchor. When you know what you value, such as freedom, security or creativity, choices become clearer. Wants that align with values tend to bring lasting satisfaction.
In the end, knowing yourself is a lifelong project. Wants will change as you grow. Still, each step in self-understanding makes desires more authentic, and authentic desires are much easier to pursue with energy.
In addition, notice moments of envy or admiration. They often reveal hidden wants. For example, feeling envious of someone’s freedom may show that autonomy matters more to you than you admitted. Therefore, these emotions can act as signposts on the path to self-knowledge.


